On Demoting Myself and Promoting Everyone Else
... and how I'm making some changes
This morning I went to my voice therapist (why I go there is a story for another day). I always leave our sessions on the verge of tears.
Not just because he spends a chunk of time ranting about the depressing state of Israel, but because at some point—every time—he looks at me and says:
“You know what you need to do. You just have to make the time to do it.”
Cool cool cool.
Let me just add another thing to that list.
Because... motherhood! Business building! Dog training! Meal prep! Keeping up with friends overseas! Investing in my marriage! … those don’t fill up every waking moment.
I so badly want to shift the pie.
But even pausing to reassess, let alone doing the work to change, feels Herculean.
The tears after voice therapy aren’t about the exercises or the logistics, but about the frustrationI feel toward myself—for knowing what I need and still not making it happen. For fearing that I might never really make the shift and then look back and wish I did.
I’ve tried building routines. I created this morning check-in where I go through all the things I know are important:
Dog training (because a trained dog = a more peaceful home)
Vocal cord exercises (because I’d really love to speak normally again)
Meditation (because I know it grounds me)
Journaling and reflection
Planning the day and figuring out what I can delegate
How many times have you heard, “Just block off the time—it’s like a meeting with yourself”?
Right.
Except… one day it’s a sick kid.
The next day, a holiday.
Then an early meeting that requires a longer commute.
And the week just… flies.
It’s like I keep demoting myself and promoting everyone else.
I used to believe:
When I run my own business, I’ll control my time
Once I get past this sprint, things will slow down
Once I reach X milestone, I’ll finally prioritize myself
And then somehow… I stay up late reviewing someones resume to help with their job search, or helping a member of mine connecting with investors during their fundraise.
Or I shoot off a text about shabbat dinner, knowing that requires prep, cleanup, and more prep.
My voice is still broken. I feel physically weaker than ever.
And I’m still waiting for the right time to start taking care of myself.
But I’m done waiting.
Because here’s what I’ve finally realized:
Self-care isn’t something you tack on once everything else is done. It’s the foundation that makes everything else possible.
And when I say self-care, I don’t mean getting a pedicure or grabbing an ice cream.
I mean strengthening my body. Protecting my voice. Grounding my mind. Recharging my energy.
Not for vanity.
For stamina.
For sustainability.
For being the kind of mother, partner, and builder I want to be.
So I’m shifting the mindset.
Instead of waiting for life to slow down, I’m accepting that it won’t.
Not with two young kids.
Not with a growing business.
Not in Israel.
Not in this chapter of life.
And I’m going to care for myself anyway.
A few changes I’m trying:
Recommitting to post-kid drop-off time:
Even 30 minutes. Not the “full routine,” but a short version of everything: a bit of movement, breath work, voice care, intention-setting. A bit of everything is better than none of a lot.Setting goals instead of chasing volume:
Less “do the most.” More “Did I do what I said I would do?”Practicing saying no (or keeping things simple):
I’m in a season of stabilizing myself. That means less helping others for now, fewer elaborate meals when hosting, and simpler after-school plans. Simpler is kinder.Letting others carry more - and not seeing that as a failure of mine:
Leaning more on Zach. On Ori. On family. Letting go of being the one who holds it all.
This is the pie I want:
One where my needs are no longer a sliver.
One where taking care of myself isn’t a tradeoff, it’s a multiplier.
And if you're feeling this too, I hope one day we can chat about it, maybe over pie ;)
Until then, would love to hear from you below.